Today I was calculating over the monthly expenditure I incur every month. What was revealing was purely disturbing whereby my monthly expenses are more than the income I earn. My father wants to play the role of the boss whereby he decides how to expend money but does not want to know whether the shop is in profit or loss. This thought about the situation which is going beyond my control, kept running in my mind again and again. I was in depressive state. So when I came up in the evening to my home, it was my usual time for evening practice. But because of the depressive state, there was a temptation today to skip the practice. But in the time like this, I always remember Sadhguru's words "The outside situation is beyond your control but what happens within you is always under your control". So I went ahead with my Shambavi Practices. Has it always happened, I came out refreshed, away from the dark clouds of depression.
My experience always says that how much ever the thought might be depressing, it cannot hold over you forever. Even today, though the situation over my father's behaviour has not changed but those thoughts are not clouding over me, like in the past. Life is open, to be explored in other dimensions. Thoughts always stay for a certain time. If one stays has a witness, they will pass away, leaving no scar of the past. So I learned a key.
Even during the practices, I notice that there are tempting thoughts, depressive thoughts, angry thoughts, happy thoughts but I have taken a decision that I will be seated for the next 40 minutes, no matter what my thoughts says. Usually thoughts are the extension of the what kind of society you are exposed to. As we can observe that society always harbour violence, aggressiveness in a deceptive state. So it is we, who have to decide, whether we want to live a life of selfish human being or the way shown by Sadhguru. This is bringing me to live life with clarity.
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