Thursday, January 21, 2010

Experience of a newly initiated Brahmachari -


I couldn’t believe it was finally happening, the moment I had been waiting for, for almost 3 years… It wasn’t the way I thought it would be, I wasn’t the way I thought I should be…but it was something else, something so much more, so much bigger than what I could ever have imagined.
Throughout our silence, I was in disbelief… "Is this really happening to me? I’m finally going to get initiated." I kept counting the days, "Okay, 14 days…hmmm – is it tomorrow? What will they do? Where will we go?" The suspense was killing. Many times, I couldn’t even focus on my sadhana … I just kept thinking, "What next?"
The sadhana, the silence was indescribable, it was as if every day something was being shed, something was being left behind, some cleansing was happening. I was emerging cleaner, stronger, more stable. More ready. But still my stupid mind was racing non-stop. If only it would have stop for a few seconds, maybe I could have savored this and been more sensitive to it.
The night before the initiation, it was so good to see Sadhguru and have Him talk to us. His vision of what this means, what this means to the future of humanity (and not just for myself) just reinforced what a big responsibility this is, and at the same time what a tremendous privilege to receive it, and that too from Him. And when He spoke about His vision for the whole of humanity, how He wants to offer a spiritual process which will touch as many people as possible, I was left in tears. What else is there to do but this, to offer myself to this?
When he said something along the lines that this could be the fire that could burn you up if you allow it to, I wanted that, I wished I would be in the best way to receive it. I couldn’t sleep much that night.
The day of the initiation was a mixture of total calm, nervousness, expectation, love, tremendous gratitude to all the beings who were working to make this happen. A sense of being part of a "family" – but not in the usual way… Everyone walked us through the whole process so patiently and lovingly.
There was no fear of going through with it, but just that "Will I be able to live up to it? Will I be able to put my nonsense aside and really be the way He wants us to be?" I had been struggling within myself with some attachments. Finally, in a moment of frustration, I just left it to Him, saying that this is how I am right now, I’m not going to pretend to be above it. And guess what – they disappeared!
I can never forget the day of the initiation. The setting, Sadhguru, the Brahmacharis, the Dhyanalinga, everything set to make me something more than what "I" am right now.
In many ways, I’m carrying this feeling like I’m a new born baby – no past baggage, a new name, a new sense of clarity and purpose, a new intensity – and my Master’s Grace coursing through me. This feeling that I’m no ordinary Brahmachari, but initiated by Him – what a big responsibility I have to live up to. Each day, each moment of my life, with each breath I take, I have to remind myself and live up to it.
– Maa Dakshina, Isha Brahmacharini

12 comments:

  1. Hi,
    Have been following your blog for a while. Happy to learn about your initiation. Please don't stop this blog and keep this going on. It's been a good haven and a gentle remider for me!

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  2. Hi,

    I have been reading osho for a a few years now and I stumbled into sadhguru, the exceptional living master. It is such a blessing to be in touch with a living buddha... i have been doing the kriyas and shoonya... tremendous... In love with isha... i love ur blog... very beautiful... keep up the good work...

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  3. Thanks. Love you Sadhguru.

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  4. I will never stop blogging but I cannot guarantee the regularity of publishing articles. I don't want to end up like a television journalist, who creates news rather than being a medium. If I come upon something significant, I am sure to follow up with blogging.

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  5. Hello
    Could you let us know your experience now a few years later. We are very curious to know how you are doing with your journey.

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  6. I feel Sadhguru is the real deal. Could you please let us know how your experience has been so far?
    Thank you

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  7. I want to be initiated by Sadhguru. Would you know how to get the initiation process started?

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  8. Initiation also happens in the basic program

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  9. I want to take sanyas in Isha foundation For sanyas any age limit is there? I am 40+. I did inner engineering. Practicing shambhavi daily.
    Thank you.

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  10. What is the procedure to join for sanyas? Any age limit is there.
    Please reply.
    Thank you

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  11. I dont know anything but i just want to be there with sadhguru i live in Mauritius and i simply dont know whether i can even think about it or not because i dnt have the needs to come there but deep from my heart i just wish that someday i get to come there at isha. I want to know my existence.

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  12. I have been to isha yoga centre last December for my bsp and my world is turning upside down.I have a burning desire to walk this path but with complete renunciation and as a bhramachari.I hope I can make it

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