The Day I Stopped Saying 'Hurry Up' - An insightful sharing of a Mother.

When you're living a distracted life, every minute must be accounted for. You feel like you must be checking something off the list, staring at a screen, or rushing off to the next destination. And no matter how many ways you divide your time and attention, no matter how many duties you try and multi-task, there's never enough time in a day to ever catch up.


That was my life for two frantic years. My thoughts and actions were controlled by electronic notifications, ring tones, and jam-packed agendas. And although every fiber of my inner drill sergeant wanted to be on time to every activity on my overcommitted schedule, I wasn't.


You see, six years ago I was blessed with a laid-back, carefree, stop-and-smell-the roses type of child.
When I needed to be out the door, she was taking her sweet time picking out a purse and a glittery crown.
When I needed to be somewhere five minutes ago, she insisted on buckling her stuffed animal into a car seat.
When I needed to grab a quick lunch at Subway, she'd stop to speak to the elderly woman who looked like her grandma.

When I had 30 minutes to get in a run, she wanted me to stop the stroller and pet every dog we passed.

When I had a full agenda that started at 6:00 a.m., she asked to crack the eggs and stir them ever so gently.
My carefree child was a gift to my Type A, task-driven nature --but I didn't see it. Oh no, when you live life distracted, you have tunnel vision -- only looking ahead to what's next on the agenda. And anything that cannot be checked off the list is a waste of time.


Whenever my child caused me to deviate from my master schedule, I thought to myself, "We don't have time for this." Consequently, the two words I most commonly spoke to my little lover of life were: "Hurry up."
I started my sentences with it.


Hurry up, we're gonna be late.
I ended sentences with it.
We're going to miss everything if you don't hurry up.
I started my day with it.
Hurry up and eat your breakfast.
Hurry up and get dressed.
I ended my day with it.
Hurry up and brush your teeth.
Hurry up and get in bed.


And although the words "hurry up" did little if nothing to increase my child's speed, I said them anyway. Maybe even more than the words, "I love you."


The truth hurts, but the truth heals... and brings me closer to the parent I want to be.
Then one fateful day, things changed. We'd just picked my older daughter up from kindergarten and were getting out of the car. Not going fast enough for her liking, my older daughter said to her little sister, "You are so slow." And when she crossed her arms and let out an exasperated sigh, I saw myself -- and it was a gut-wrenching sight.


I was a bully who pushed and pressured and hurried a small child who simply wanted to enjoy life.
My eyes were opened; I saw with clarity the damage my hurried existence was doing to both of my children.
Although my voice trembled, I looked into my small child's eyes and said, "I am so sorry I have been making you hurry. I love that you take your time, and I want to be more like you."


Both my daughters looked equally surprised by my painful admission, but my younger daughter's face held the unmistakable glow of validation and acceptance.

"I promise to be more patient from now on," I said as I hugged my curly-haired child who was now beaming at her mother's newfound promise.

It was pretty easy to banish "hurry up" from my vocabulary. What was not so easy was acquiring the patience to wait on my leisurely child. To help us both, I began giving her a little more time to prepare if we had to go somewhere. And sometimes, even then, we were still late. Those were the times I assured myself that I will be late only for a few years, if that, while she is young.


When my daughter and I took walks or went to the store, I allowed her to set the pace. And when she stopped to admire something, I would push thoughts of my agenda out of my head and simply observe her. I witnessed expressions on her face that I'd never seen before. I studied dimples on her hands and the way her eyes crinkled up when she smiled. I saw the way other people responded to her stopping to take time to talk to them. I saw the way she spotted the interesting bugs and pretty flowers. She was a Noticer, and I quickly learned that The Noticers of the world are rare and beautiful gifts. That's when I finally realized she was a gift to my frenzied soul.

My promise to slow down was made almost three years ago, at the same time I began my journey to let go of daily distraction and grasp what matters in life. And living at a slower pace still takes a concerted effort. My younger daughter is my living reminder of why I must keep trying. In fact, the other day, she reminded me once again.


The two of us had taken a bike ride to a sno-cone shack while on vacation. After purchasing a cool treat for my daughter, she sat down at a picnic table delightedly admiring the icy tower she held in her hand.
Suddenly a look of worry came across her face. "Do I have to rush, Mama?"


I could have cried. Perhaps the scars of a hurried life don't ever completely disappear, I thought sadly.
As my child looked up at me waiting to know if she could take her time, I knew I had a choice. I could sit there in sorrow thinking about the number of times I rushed my child through life... or I could celebrate the fact that today I'm trying to do thing differently.
I chose to live in today.

"You don't have to rush. Just take your time," I said gently. Her whole face instantly brightened and her shoulders relaxed.

And so we sat side-by-side talking about things that ukulele-playing-6-year-olds talk about. There were even moments when we sat in silence just smiling at each other and admiring the sights and sounds around us.
I thought my child was going to eat the whole darn thing -- but when she got to the last bite, she held out a spoonful of ice crystals and sweet juice for me. "I saved the last bite for you, Mama," my daughter said proudly.


As I let the icy goodness quench my thirst, I realized I just got the deal of a lifetime.
I gave my child a little time... and in return, she gave me her last bite and reminded me that things taste sweeter and love comes easier when you stop rushing through life.

Whether it's ...
Sno-cone eating
Flower picking
Seatbelt buckling
Egg cracking
Seashell finding
Ladybug watching
Sidewalk strolling
I will not say, "We don't have time for this." Because that is basically saying, "We don't have time to live."
Pausing to delight in the simple joys of everyday life is the only way to truly live.

Source Link :  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-macy-stafford/the-day-i-stopped-saying-hurry-up_b_3624798.html

Nurturing the Humanity within Ourselves - Arianna Huffington and Sadhguru

If you think of the Sage, the Sage will think of you - Robert Adams

----- if you think of the Sage, the Sage will think of you -----

S> How can a seeker maximize his serious relationship with the Sage? What can he do to make the relationship deeper?

R> Simply by sitting with the Jnani all day long.

When you’re home, where you’re working, think of the Sage.
When you think of the sage’s form, the sage’s name, things will begin to happen to you.
Find peace.
Try it.
Then you will be with the Sage continuously.
Whenever you think of a living Sage, the Sage becomes part of your heart, it’s the complete heart and you feel the love of the Sage within you.

So if you think of the Sage, the Sage will think of you.
Whatever you think about, that you become ultimately.
So you have to be very careful what you think about.
Whatever you think about, you become.
Think of the Sage, you become the Sage.

246 Beyond Mental Concepts – July 18, 1993

Do not pay attention to the time.

WISDOM F AJAHN CHAH

Forget About Time

We tend to complicate our meditation. For example, when we sit, we may determine, "Yes, I'm really going to do it this time." But that is not the right attitude; nothing will be accomplished that day. Such grasping is natural at first. Some nights, when I would
start to sit, I would think, "OK, tonight I won't get up from my seat until 1:00 A.M., at the earliest." But before long, my mind would start to kick and rebel until I felt that I would die. What is the point in that?

When you are sitting properly, there is no need to measure or compel. There is no goal, no point to attain. Whether you sit until 7:00 or 8:00 or 9:00 P.M., never mind. Just keep sitting without concern. Do not force yourself. Do not be compulsive. Do nut command your heart to do things for certain, for this command will make things all the less certain. Let your mind be at ease, let your breath be even, normal, not short or long or any special way. Let your body be comfortable. Practice steadily and continuously. Desire will ask you, "How late will we go? How long will we practice?" Just shout at it, "Hey, don't bother me!" Keep quelling it, because it is only defilement coming to disturb you. Just say, "If I want to stop early or late, it's not wrong; if I want to sit all night, who am I hurting? Why do you come and disturb me?" Cut off desire, and keep sitting in your own way. Let your heart be at ease, and you will become tranquil, free from the power of grasping.

Some people sit in front of a lighted incense stick and vow to sit until it has burned down. Then they keep peeking to see how far it has burned, constantly concerned with the time. "Is it over yet?" they ask. Or they vow to push beyond or die, and then feel terribly guilty when they stop only one hour later. These people are controlled by desire.

Do not pay attention to the time. Just maintain your practice at a steady pace, letting it progress gradually. You do not need to make vows. Just keep striving to train yourself, just do your practice and let the mind become calm of itself. Eventually, you will find that you can sit a long time at your ease, practicing correctly.

As to pain in the legs, you will find that it goes away by itself. Just stay with your contemplation.

If you practice in this way, a change will take place in you. When you go to sleep, you will be able to settle your mind into calmness and sleep. Formerly, you may have snored, talked in your sleep, gnashed your teeth, or tossed and turned. Once your heart has been trained, all of that will vanish. Although you will sleep soundly, you will awaken refreshed instead of sleepy. The body will rest, but the mind will be awake day and night. This is Buddho, the one who knows, the Awakened One, the Happy One, the Brilliant One. This one does not sleep, does not feel drowsy. If you make your heart and mind firm like this in your practice, you may not sleep for two or three days, and when you get sleepy, you can enter samadhi for five or ten minutes and arise refreshed, as if you had slept all night long. At this point, you need not think about your body, although with compassion and understanding, you will still consider its needs.

Do not be anxious if you don't have meditative experience.

"Do not be anxious if you don't have meditative experience. The path to God is not a circus! Don't even be anxious about such fruits of meditation as inner joy and peace. Everything will come in God's time. Meanwhile, consider meditation, too as a form of Karma Yoga, action without desire for the fruits of action. Meditate above all to please God, not yourself.

"Every sincere effort is registered in the divine conciousness. Your duty as a devotee is to accept whatever He sends you--and for that matter, whatever He doesn't send. God alone knows what past karma keeps you from perceiving Him right now. He may want you to finish up your karma in this life, before He gives you eternal bliss in Him."

Paramhansa Yogananda.

Whats needed to succeed in the spiritual path?

Without a guru the average devotee cannot find God. It requires 25% devoted practice of meditation techniques; 25% blessings of the guru; and 50% grace of God. If you remain steadfast in your efforts to the end, He will appear before you.

Paramahansa Yogananda

Sadhguru & Pandit Jasraj - Ektara | Isha Foundation

Isha in 2013 - Glimpses

Why be so sensitive about a little cold or a little pain?

Develop an adamant attitude toward the body. “The ideas of heat and cold, of pleasure and pain, are produced by the contacts of the senses with their objects. Such ideas are limited by a beginning and an end. They are transitory in their behavior. Bear them with patience.”* Why be so sensitive about a little cold or a little pain? Think of the agony of those who suffer in war. But even stronger than the patriot is the spiritual man; he develops a greater mental courage through disciplining his mind to endure, and ultimately rise above, every kind of pain and trouble.

The mind must acquire greater control over the body. To be able to live by the power of mind is wonderful, because the mind can do whatever you want it to. How to start depending more on mind? Little by little habituate yourself to heat and cold, to sleeping on a hard bed, to being less dependent on accustomed comforts.

*Bhagavad-Gita II:14

~ Paramahansa Yogananda,
Man’s Eternal Quest, 342