"As there is a science and technology for external wellbeing, there is a whole science and technology for inner wellbeing. I call it Inner Engineering. " Sadhguru on Inner Engineering
A life of self imposed limitations, doubts and restrictions - that was my life until I decided to pursue the Isha yoga program in february this year (2011). Death of close people, sickness in family, chronic health issues, work stress, career confusions these are just common human experiences and yet as we experience these events, we are left clueless. I was one of those clueless folks at the time I signed up for Inner Engineering - Leadership Retreat held in February this year.
Till that date, I had listened to Sadhguru's talks on and off for the past 5 years. I first came to know of Sadhguru from my wife 5 years ago. She was introduced by a friend to attend an Intro talk and without much time, she got initiated into Shambavi Mahamudra. Since then, she had been doing Isha yoga regularly with such commitment that I feel so lucky now to have her as my wife. Despite seeing her energy levels and commitment to her duties on a daily basis, I have always resigned to my regular modes of solution - thinking prodigiously, analyzing despondently and deciding limitedly. With my limited mind, I only chose to look at her frailties and reason how the yoga has not helped her, when there is an abundance of positivity and stability she had brought to me on a daily basis. Yes! so limited I was with my understanding of my wife and my own self that I was functioning in a zombie mode of discontent. Chronic health issues and increased stress levels were making it worse. At that point, I would rather read books, acquire knowledge of theorems and proofs, programming models, indulge in business ideas, read about economics, buddhism, hinduism, history, biology, anything science and all sorts of nuances to cure or escape my discontent - than my own self and abilities to look at the root of my distress.
During the time, since I have heard of Sadhguru, I had listened to his talks in youtube but never ventured to start on the yoga. I somehow just did not feel that yoga was the right thing for me. I was so much engrossed into my own failed techniques of dealing with myself, that I had closed myself to other possibilities.
Though I had developed an admiration for the man's social and environmental work, his clear thinking and speaking ability, I had my doubts. Since childhood, I had developed certain expectations of how a guru should be and in some ways, Sadhguru was too wild to fit into that mould. Also, Just like the average - Joe, I had reservations and skepticism about anything that has a tag 'spirituality' to it. Having seen some of the popular gurus of India put to shame in public, I was your common skeptic. What I did not realise was that all my doubts and understanding are limited by my own experiences or those borrowed from my acquaintances. It is like discussing wine with others based on what is written on reviews and never having tasted it.
So whatever it was, in february, I was part of the group attending the Inner engineering leadership retreat at Los Angeles. Just sitting before Sadhguru, listening to his words of wisdom - not from bhagavad gita or upanishads or bible or quran or fountain head or marxism - but out of his own experiences opened me up. Not a single word was contrary to logic and yet mysteriously, these words had such a liberating experience. Difficult questions raised by the people around me about family, loved ones, all facets of life were all answered with such clear clarity that over time, I wanted to experience what he is experiencing. absorb everything he has to say and soak in the wisdom of it. In a period of 3 days, I had been able to gain a sense of awareness and peace inside me, I walked out of the program - a mind transformed and focussed more on shedding on my perceived limitations rather than dwelling on them. For the first time in my life I started paying such close attention to my breath or the food I am eating with a devotion that seemed perfectly natural. In a poetic way, I see Inner engineering and Shambavi mahamudra as to taking an inner shower that wipes of all the nonsense I have accumulated in my mind during my lifetime.
On coming back home after the retreat, just like any old habit, doubts still surfaced. Exposed to the same situations and environment, confusions still persisted. Just as anything new and strange brings a sense of doubt and fear, I was also intensely trying to comprehend the experience logically, revalidate the authenticity of Sadhguru's experience using my overactive mind. This even drove me nuts and created a certain level of anxiety in me. My sole support during this confusing times was to observe that what I am doing is only with myself and there cant be any more harm that I can do by sustaining this practice than what I had done before. Strangely as I stuck to the daily practice, my trust in the yoga and what I had experienced henceforth re-established the clarity. My trust levels changed from the state of distrust with a stranger to a child trusting his mother and to finally the state of trust we have on our own lungs to breathe or heart to beat. I see the same process of yoga inherent in the very own life process that is active in us every day. Since then, the experiential wisdom gained has been serving me well to establish the distance from thoughts of all colors and see these thoughts as they are - just thoughts nothing more or less. Just like a bee that first tasted honey, the few pleasant experiences made me more determined to pursue the yoga practice with a commitment that I normally struggle to have. Now I wanted to full experience the fruit of this yoga and do all that I can.
In May this year, I was fortunate enough to do the Bhava spandana program iwith Sadhguru. If Inner engineering is like a seed of wisdom, Bhava spandana is like drowning in truth. When drowned in truth, what is untrue cannot exist anymore. To keep it in simplistic terms, I do not see myself now as someone unsatisfied with my life anymore. I might not have had favorable or unfavorable outcomes towards the endeavors I have pursued or pursue in future, but I am free enough to see the truth behind life processes and the nature of the outcomes do not have any impact on my inner well being. Sounds philosophical when expressed but isn't that what we all need?. Everybody needs that ability to pursue on one's goals with freedom and never to be impacted by the outcomes of our efforts.
What I have shared here is not just my story. It can be yours too. It is yours, if you feel the pain I had experienced about being dissatisfied with your life situations in general. The characters in your story might be different. The environment might be different. The players might be different. But if you understand th underlying theme of discontent and want to change it, you should try Inner Engineering (Isha yoga). Religions, spiritual texts and science, can give a person counseling or mental supports to hold on. I have leaned on these all through my life and they have served their purpose. But none of these provide me with the ability to liberate myself from the need of a support, especially when things go contrary to my expectations. Inner Engineering provided that to me. Try it and see what it can do for you. This is my humble request and wish for every fellow human being who is suffering or discontented needlessly. I hope it reaches you as it reached me.
Now I would like to conclude this deeply personal post with this quote of Sadhguru.
"Every human being is capable of living absolutely blissfully within himself. They have denied themselves this because they never looked at themselves. " - Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.
Hope you will give it a try - Inner Engineering!
Source : Venkata VC, Isha Meditator
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