Thursday, February 19, 2009

The craving mind - The real culprit

Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche describes a yogi wandering through a garden. He is completely awake to splendour and beauty of the flowers, and relishes their colors, shapes and scents. But there is no trace of clinging or any "after-thought" in his mind.

As Dudjom Rinpoche says:- "Whatever perceptions arise, you should be like a little child going into a beautifully decorated temple; he looks, but grasping does not enter into his perception at all. You leave everything fresh, natural, vivid and unspoiled. When you leave each thing in its own state, then its shape doesn't change, it's color doesn't fade and its glow does not disappear. Whatever appears is unstained by any grasping, so then all that you perceive arises as the naked wisdom of Rigpa(Our original state of mind), which is the indivisibility of luminosity and emptiness.
My own experience :-
During a Hatha Yoga program, I was attracted to a beautiful girl. Our eyes met and we were lost to each other. We enjoyed every moment of it. But the moment my mind began to organise tricks to somehow get her, I sensed that I have lost some sacredness in it. My mind was suggesting all kind of ideas like should I suggest myself a bachelor or married despite the fact that I am married. Truly I did not sense any guilt in feeling her. But the only way I could possess her was to be aggressive and that was not in my nature of things. I simply walked off. It was like if existence wants, he will allow us to meet without any effort in our part. It was a beautiful experience.
In one more incident, while I lived in 2nd floor, a female maid servant was living in the 1st floor of my brothers house. Soon we were attracted to each other and there was a silent agreement that nature should take its own course. But during her visit to my house she aggressively demanded something from my father. I could see the aggressive & possesive mind behind the beautiful body. I was able to see the nature of the sex very clearly. It is like you stand in the terrace and you view a beautiful swimming pool. There is a craving to experience it and you decide to take a dive into it. You enjoy every bit of it. Only when you come out of swimming pool, you become aware that the whole field is covered with red and green chillies. And you suffer in unawareness. If one is not meditative, one will hanker for sexual experience again and again, no matter what be the cost. Hankering will awaken jealousy, violence, aggression, anger. Everything is lost in unawareness.
The offer to merge was so open but I decided not to respond to it. She was hurt by my sudden change in behaviour. But it was too late before I realised my mistake. Atleast I will not have to carry all my life.

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